Soon

 

Ali passed away on the morning of November 29, 2020. So many tender mercies happened in the weeks before. I wanted to record them so I do not forget.

11/22/2020 - One week before her passing.

Ali was laying in her bed in her room listening to the song, 'Reaching Out' by Isabella Hickson, over and over and over. I heard her crying so I went into her room to see what was wrong. It was frequent that she would be in pain so I worried that was the case. I asked, “Ali, are you ok?”

She nodded through her tears, “Yes, I just feel the spirit.”

I quickly gave her a hug and told her how wonderful that is. How I’m so happy she is able to feel that comfort. She said, “Mommy, Jesus told me He is coming to get me soon.”

After I loved on her and comforted her the best I could, she came into our room and asked if it would be ok to give the kids their Christmas presents she had made for them since she was worried He was coming to get her that night!

We gathered in my room and one by one she gave them the bears she made for them and had them play the recordings she had recorded telling each sibling what she loved about them. 

She told everyone how much she loved her family and how she hoped they wouldn’t forget her! We all reassured her that it would be impossible to forget her. We all told her how much she meant to us.

She then cuddled with us in bed. She refused for me to leave her side. She clung to me and wouldn’t let go, even to go potty. She really believed He was coming That Night for her and didn’t want to be alone for even one second. We both talked about how we wish we could go to heaven together. I told her story after story of memories I have of her. From the time she was a baby and pooped on Uncle Ross to all the many things I adore about her. She laughed and felt so good. She said, “Thank you Mommy for helping me feel better.”

We ended the night watching Julie and the Phantoms. One of the many things I love about Ali is how much she loves love. As we watched the show, she called dibs on Luke and we giggled and swooned as the romantic parts came on. 

Looking back at this day, I find it merciful that He would prepare her by telling her she would be coming Home soon. As I have reflected on this event, I have pondered a lot on what His timing means. This event occurred one week before she passed. She had felt when He told her that He would be coming soon, that it would be that night. She was certain. But He didn't come for another week. So what does "Soon" mean?