Along we chug...

This last month, Ali has been great! Despite counts being low and having to have a blood transfusion last week, her health has remained firm! She has had normal amounts of energy and spunk! She has developed what they call "chemo skin" around her ears, neck and head. At first I had thought it was dirt behind her ears and I was scrubbing and scrubbing to get it off!! When I took her into see her oncologist, they told me it is not dirt, it is chemo skin! I guess the chemo seaps through her skin as she sweats and changes her skin color. They said it's normal and will start to wear off when she is done w treatment. So weird! All these new things I am finding out happen that I had no clue about!

You can kind of see her chemo skin behind her ear

I thought that losing her hair this last month would really effect her, but it hasn't! Before she lost it, she was pretty determined to keep it even when it was really thin and was starting to look bad. When she was ready to shave it, she told me, "ok mom...I'm ready now." That was probably one of the hardest moments for me. Even though her hair had been falling out gradually the last 7 months, seeing your daughter's head get shaved is one of the most heart wrenching experiences!! The doctor's told us that when it does finally grow back, it may be a different color or texture. Ali has it in her head that she would like to have white hair when it grows back! She has a tiny little bit of peach fuzz right now and when anyone points it out she gasps excitedly and says, "is it white?!?" haha...let's cross our fingers on that one!!

Monday we celebrated her 5th birthday!!! We had a party for her this last Saturday where all her family and friends came to wish her well! It was lots of fun despite the weather! I had planned a bounce house for the kids but a few hours before the party, a storm decided to roll in! We had to bring the party inside. It all worked out fine though!

 Ali had a doctor appointment where she received a blood transfusion and chemo a few days before her birthday. She loves going to her appointments and seeing all her nurses. She decided she wanted to celebrate with them as well so we brought a cake in and everyone sang her happy birthday. It made her day!!

 Ali opening her presents with her siblings first thing in the morning! One of the things I love most about my kids is how loving they are! They all made Ali their own card. Some attached a dollar to it, others taped a pokemon card to it or other small gifts that mean a lot to them and some colored beautiful pictures! I love the thought and love they put in to make others feel special.

I still can't believe my youngest baby is 5!! I remember finding out I was pregnant with her. It was one of the hardest times in my life that I was going through and all of a sudden, this little baby girl decides to make her appearance! Do you ever think that angels come down to help you in your life? I do...her name is Ali! She has been my strength and my happiness...my smile throughout my day!

My little angel!!

Ever since she was diagnosed, I have been trying to make sense of everything. A lot of people would think, why me? Why my little girl?? When she was diagnosed, a part of me understood. I would NEVER wish cancer on anyone or wish anyone to have to go through this pain...but a small part of me understands this trial. I believe that this life was given to us so that we may be tested so that we may become better people. To me, Ali is perfect...she doesn't need to be tested because she already has a million A+'s!! Even though it is Ali's body that has to endure this trial, I feel that this trial was given to me...to test me, to teach me...to help me become better. I remember when the doctor's came in and told us she had leukemia. It was 5am...we had been in the hospital room for what seemed like forever. My eyes were burning from all the tears I had cried. My body was aching from exhaustion. However, through all the tears and pain, I could feel my Heavenly Father telling me that everything would be ok! It was one of the strongest times where I truly felt like heavenly angels were surrounding me and helping me through those moments. I am grateful for that feeling because it truly has helped me when I'm feeling defeated.

Today Ali's nurse comes to draw her blood and check her counts. As long as her counts are high enough, we will head down to primarys hospital by 8 am for more chemo and also a lumbar puncture. Those days are not fun. They are long and Ali has to fast before she gets put under. I hate seeing her get put under. I don't think I will ever get use to it. So along we chug...I am grateful for good days, my many blessings and all the love and support that is shown to my family!